My life has come to a place of somewhat peace, God is allowing us to relax a bit I think after such a strange year last year. I’m happy to be a mom to the two cutest and brightest girls on the planet, and I love my husband with all my heart and we are really enjoying our marriage. (Eight years in May–wow!) I love my “job”– 2 days a week at the Mother’s Day Out kissing babies and praying for them. I have a lot of friends in my life whom I adore. I’m content and blessed and grateful.
So why all this unrest? In high school I was an average student when I could have been an honor student. Why? Because not only was I a student, I also held a part time job, cheered for my school team, flipped flags in the band’s color guard, had a membership in every extracirricular activity and club, played in the school orchestra, held leadership roles in my youth group, served on numerous school and church committees, and had a gazilliion friends. Sure it looked great on a college application, but so would have all A’s. I learned years ago that doing one thing excellently is better than spreading myself too thin and not being excellent at anything.
I guess I revert to that time in my life because that’s the year I realized that I couldn’t do it all, have it all, or be it all. I was never first chair in orchestra, I frequently forgot club meetings, lost the running for homecoming queen, and was constantly late to work. I needed to rethink my priorities and go with what’s best. That’s usually not a problem for me. But today it is. I’m overwhelmed with the new role that I’m part of at Northview–with the Bricktown campus. Chris is an amazing minister and I realize now that my initial excitement was really for him. I’m somewhat uncomfortable in it. Sure this is a good thing. But it makes me want to go back running to the familiar, being the Connections desk, my first ministry love. It’s my comfort zone, and I’m good at it. Can I do both well? Sure they’re on different nights and times, but am I spreading myself too thin, with those two ministries, my MDO ministry, being the wife and the mom and the friend and the daughter that I need to be? I’m finding myself exhausted and our Bricktown group hasn’t even started yet. I hope that it will all work out in the end, and I will be useful in both areas, but it sure did help to write it all down! If you’ve made it this far, thank you! Please someone give me some wisdom or encouragement…
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