6:45 Chris wakes me up and I sleepily deduct that if I don’t shower now, I won’t get one today. I’m up.
7:00 Waking Gracie in my bath towel. She needs to be at the school at 7:30 for breakfast.
7:25 Luke’s mommy drops him off for our Tuesday morning routine. I load him and Trinity in the minivan but I forgot the oranges–Gracie was in charge of bringing a snack today. Run back in, grab the oranges, run back out, can’t find Gracie. Oh, there she is, at the side of the house crying because she can’t find a roly poly.
7:32 Drop Gracie off at school. The babies are getting hungry. Back home to eat, play, poop…the babies, not me! I load the dishwasher and do some laundry.
9:45 I realize we’re out of milk, cheese and juice. These are lunch staples in this house and I’m desperate. Load the babies back into the van, drive to Homeland, unload them again…look around for an abandoned cart in the parking lot. Where are those stupid things when you need them?? One child on each hip, I carry them into the store and find a “car” cart for them to ride. Answer the question “are they twins?” for the 6th time today. Pay for groceries and load them–and our stuff–back into the van. Trinity’s nose is running. I realize that a grocery reciept, in a pinch, will function as a kleenex.
10:15 My phone alarm goes off, alerting me it’s time to go get Gracie.
10:35 Gracie’s teacher walks her to the van and exclaims “that’s the smallest little snail I’ve ever seen!” I smile and nod and realize that Gracie had somehow snuck a baby bottle–with a snail inside–to school. Gracie talks all the way home. I serve the kids lunch but I forget to eat.
2:00 My coffee date cancels on me, but the girls are dressed super cute and are ready for an outing. So we head to the mall. The minute we get inside, Gracie claims she needs to use the restroom. We spend 15 minutes in the family restroom waiting for Gracie to poop. By this time, Trinity is mad, they’re both thirsty, and my energy level is plummeting.
2:20 Pass the AT&T kiosk where the guy asks me if I want a new phone. I smile politely and reply that I already have a phone.
2:22 We made it to Gymboree! Gracie grabs a chair in front of the big TV in the back and watches Gymbo and Friends sing 13 rounds of “the brave little elephant” and I keep Trinity in the stroller with me. Until she stands up in her stroller, indicating that she’d also like to watch this jewel of a program. I do some minor shopping while they’re both somewhat occupied.
3:15 Next door from Gymboree is baby Gap. I just want to look to see the new line, it won’t be long. Trinity fusses because she wants to walk around. Gracie won’t stop talking. She insists she really needs to go to the bathroom again. I deny her until she threatens (loudly) to pee on the floor. We leave baby Gap and head back to the restroom.
3:30 Pass the AT&T kiosk and again reply that I already have a cell phone.
3:32 No pee, no poop, just the same old restroom. Yes, you still have to wash your hands. Because you do. Because I said so. Because you still have germs on your hands. I know you didn’t. Because I’m your mom. Just do it.
3:35 I dig in the diaper bag till I find two wrapped lollipops from the bank. God bless those tellers who give us extra lollipops! I rationalize sticky hands and a sugar high is totally worth approximately 9 minutes of silence. Back to gap. Gracie won’t stop talking, even with the lollipop. She talks around it.
3:40 Oh crap! The lollipops have been eaten. Trinity’s standing in her stroller again wiping her sticky red fingers all over the shelves. Gracie’s poking her sucker stick into her sister’s hair. Time to go.
3:41 Idiot AT&T salesman asks me if I came back for a phone. Seriously. I feel obligated at this point to show him that I already have a phone, so I hold it up and keep walking. Don’t mess with me, buddy.
4:00 Chris calls to say he’s off early and wants to eat. Trinity’s hungry too. It occurs to me that I haven’t eaten all day. Gracie’s still talking. I laugh to myself because she’s wearing a shirt that says “chatter box.” We visit with a friend of mine. Gracie needs to pee again. I think she just likes the little toilets in the family restroom.
5:45 Home from the mall. Gracie panics because she can’t find Bunny. Wasn’t Bunny at the mall with us?
7:00 I go back to the mall, by myself, to retrieve Bunny. Bunny has spent the afternoon in Gymboree watching Gymbo TV and is actually stupider because of it.
8:00 Gracie goes to bed, Bunny cradled in her arms. All is right with the world once again.
10:30 I’m sleepy. I just can’t imagine why…
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