Trinity’s well-child check up yesterday went great! She weighs 22 pounds. She’s 50% percentile in weight and 75% in height. Maybe she will be tall like her Daddy. She totally freaked when she saw the nurse at the end of the appointment, she knew she was getting shots. She tried to get away and really fought us–I had to hold her down. It was sooooo sad. My poor baby!
We start cheer next week with Gracie. The gym was closed this week and they forgot to call me. Boooo!
I don’t want any flames for this, so if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all. But I want to be really open about this, because it’s part of my commitment to my friends and family who read this. I’ve always given you the truth. You would think after all I’ve been through, that I would just be so grateful to be alive, that I would have all the optimism and hope in the world. Well, I don’t know why, but it’s not like that the past few weeks. Some days I have a hard time getting out of bed. Some days I don’t want to be a mommy. Some days I wonder why I fought so hard to beat this cancer. This isn’t me. I know it must sound ridiculous, because I was so optimistic when I was fighting. But now, it’s like this burden on me– I was a cancer patient, and I will always be a cancer patient. I’m wanting so badly to pull myself up out of this and I can’t. Please pray for me, don’t worry, just pray. I have enough worry going on in my own head that I’ve already done that part for you. =) Only God can help me with my heart issues, and I need Him now more than ever. I want to be grateful, I want to live life to the fullest and I don’t have the ability to even do that right now. It hurts. Thank God for Chris, who is the love of my life and my biggest supporter. And of course, my family, I don’t know how I would do this alone. Please don’t worry, just pray.
But I’m not leaving you on that note. I want to show you my sweet baby girl walking:
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