I am overwhelmed with the fact that this treatment has finally come to an end. Tomorrow I will walk into the radiation therapy unit of the hospital and lay on the table to get zapped for the last time. Then Wednesday morning I will wake up a survivor. Thoughts running through my mind consistently come back to “what if it comes back? how will we pay for all this? what if I leave treatment tomorrow only to be in a fatal car wreck? what if the girls get it too?” There are so many fears, but I know this for sure: Today, I have won. Today, I am cancer free. God’s grace will get me through the what if’s and I will cross the aforementioned bridges when I come to them. But if I do have to cross them, I know that I do not walk alone.
I love this quote from Elenor Roosevelt: You gain strength, experience and confidence by every experience where you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you cannot do.
There was this force in me that kept me going day in and day out. I stared down the biggest fear of my life and I won! Of course, all the glory goes to God, because without Him I couldn’t have done it. And without my friends, family, people who gave meals and cards and other gifts, even anonymous donors to the cancer fund…I would have never made it through. I wouldn’t have become who I am. Thank you, thank you for all the support and love.
Oh–and the local channels around here are interested in my story but I had to say no because I have a confidentiality agreement with the national magazine. (Which, by the way should be out very very soon!!!) How weird is that? Little me. Huh.
ETA: How encouraging! My wonderful pastor from Northview had this verse on his blog:
“He rekindles burned-out lives with fresh hope.” 1 Samuel 2:8b (The Message)
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