This time last year I was snuggling up to wrinkly, tiny, newborn Trinity and falling in love with her. After a long night of labor that seemed to go nowhere, Dr Saunders was called in to break my water. My family was sent down the hall to wait and Chris helped me into the bathtub. I began pushing almost immediately and Trinity was born in only two pushes! We all said it at the same time, “she’s so tiny!” and there was the nickname that stuck! Our family was called back in and I thought to myself how wonderful this new chapter in our lives would be. We started going to Northview Community Church, Chris was in line for a promotion at AOL, Gracie was happy, we had just bought a new minivan the day before, our school and credit card debts were paid off…everything was starting to look up. Cancer and a layoff was the farthest thing from my mind; I didn’t know how much heartache this year would bring our little family. I had to clue how much I would need Tiny and her and sister and daddy to be my reason for living. For her whole year of life, Trinity has only known her Mommy as sick and physically weak. She has no concept of how, when my entire world is falling apart, a smile or cuddle from her can remind me my treatment is worthwhile. Someday I will tell her. Until then, I am working every day on becoming her strong Mommy, one who is not just surviving but living daily in faith that God has healed me, and that there is a reason for every season and circumstance that comes our way. She is my miracle baby, without her I would not have discovered the lump in my breast. She is the beginning of a new chapter that went way different than I had planned on…but a glimmer of hope in darkest of times. She is newness, beauty, happiness, and a constant reminder of hope in God for my family and for me.
I love you Baby Trinity! Happy First Birthday, my precious child!
ETA: Here’s the slide show from her birthday party last night!